- Previously on "Good Girls."
[dramatic music]
Jesus.
- Yeah.
Guess we're back in business.
- I made some stupid joke about most movers
coming straight out of prison,
and the lead guy with the tattoo thingie,
his rap sheet reads like a CVS receipt.
- Lemonade? He's gonna wash in ways
that we can't.
I'll text you the drop point. - 50-50, right?
- We said 10. - I meant 50.
- Dr. Cohen mentioned that you could possibly play a role
in our healing.
- Remember last winter when we saw that Celica
slam into the pickup truck on I-94?
- Uh-huh. - Is that my life?
So how is this supposed to work, anyway?
- Just talk about what's bothering you.
- What if it was something you wouldn't like
but we wouldn't have to sit next
to the bathroom ever again?
- His daddy's gonna be proud, too.
- I thought you said he was gone.
[gunshot] - [groans]
- Yeah, and then he'll pop back up
like he always does.
- Hey, Mama. - Daddy!
- What's up, bub? How you doing?
She ain't comin'.
♪
Yeah, we both know how this ends.
♪
So what's up?
How you been? Kids good?
[upbeat music quietly playing]
You know, my boy says Jane's
like the superstar forward on the team.
You think they'll make the finals this year or what?
♪
Oh. [chuckles]
I gotta show you something.
♪
Lung. [kisses]
Spleen.
Shoulder.
Thanks, man. - Sure thing.
To your aim.
Well, suit yourself.
Well, bottoms up.
You got a lot to celebrate.
Well, you made a beautiful family.
Helped out your community and whatnot.
Hell, I bet they name a wing after you at your kids' school.
Don't do... that.
It just puts off what's gonna come anyway.
And then you gotta wait for it,
and trust me, that's...
[chuckles]
That's just way worse.
Check it out.
You're my girl,
and so I'ma take it easy on you.
I'll do it myself.
Let's get this over with.
What do you say?
- I'm pregnant.
- [breathing heavily]
How was that?
- Again. - Again?
- Again.
- Okay.
[kissing]
You awake?
- [groans]
Oh, I need that. - There you go.
Can I... sit?
- Yeah, sure. - [groans]
Is it sweet enough for you? - Huh?
- I put in that low-cal hazelnut stuff.
- Um, can you take Danny to his ortho appointment today?
- I'm sorry, I gotta...
What has been going on here?
- Sex? - [chuckles]
We've done it more in the last few weeks
than we did in high school. - It's good.
- It's like a circus.
Like an awesome Russian traveling kind of circus.
- Like the kind with a bear that rides the bike?
- No, believe me, I am not complaining.
I'm just trying to wrap my head around...
- I guess I just...
Feel like we're in a better place.
- Well, any time you wanna visit more places,
I'm...
Totally, like, TripAdvisor.
- [chuckles] Can I shower now?
[chuckles]
- Beth.
I love you.
[dramatic music]
I'll wake up the kids.
♪
- What nights are you working this week?
- Uh, all of them, if they give me the shifts.
- 'Cause I'm gonna have to meet the girls for you-know-what.
- Egg roll.
- But I didn't even say... - Egg roll.
- I said you-know-what instead of...
- Egg and roll.
- A safe word can't be two words.
- Babe, only way this works is if I know nothing.
- So it's just egg roll, then?
- If you don't wanna hear about my job,
then I cannot hear about yours.
- Just to be clear... - Mm-hmm?
- I was about to say... - Egg roll.
Animals! Slop's on!
- No, that's a normal wedgie.
- Okay, I'm... I'm a bit scared to ask.
- It's your job to ask, Josh.
- Uh, Dr. Cohen.
Fine, what's an atomic wedgie?
- Both sides front and back same time,
equal pressure. - Oh, my God.
- Yeah, way worse for a girl. - I'll take your word for it.
- You know how they cut those big blocks of cheese
with that wire? - Okay.
- And I would, like, get up on a coffee table
or the stairs for max yank leverage.
- Mm-hmm, nice.
[laughs]
So Beth controlled the remote?
- Literally every Saturday morning,
all I wanted was nine bowls of cereal and "Muppet Babies."
- Uh-huh, and what about now?
- What do you mean?
- How do you handle it now
when she takes the remote?
- I have my own TV.
- It's a metaphor, Annie.
When she tries to be the boss of you,
what do you do?
- Same, same.
- You give you adult sister an atomic wedgie?
- It's a metaphor, Josh.
- Okay, hear me out.
What if your behavior is just reinforcing her behavior?
- What, you mean like it's my fault
that she's a total control freak?
- Well, instead of acting like a child,
maybe try to consider where she's coming from.
- You learned all that online?
- And we're finished.
- For good?
- Today. - Hmm.
[sighs]
- Oh, send Sally in, will you?
She's the brace face with the attitude problem.
Don't tell her I said that. - [laughs]
[door closes]
[Jefferson Starship's "Find Your Way Back"]
♪
- ♪ You know it's been a long, long road ♪
♪ Since I packed up and left on my own ♪
♪ And I carry a heavy load
♪ Just trying to get back to her heart ♪
♪
♪ I sure ain't got no home
♪ I seem to find love where I ramble ♪
♪ And when it's time to go
♪ I hear that voice again
♪ Saying find your way back
♪
♪ Find your way back to her heart ♪
♪ Find your way back
♪
♪ Find your way back to her heart ♪
♪
♪ Find your way back
♪
♪ Find your way back to her heart ♪
♪
♪ Find your way back
♪
♪ Find your way back to her heart ♪
♪ Find your way back your way back ♪
♪ Find your way back
♪
♪ Find your way back [knocking]
- Mommy, Auntie's here.
- Uh, just a minute.
[zipper zipping]
- Does that look like a mild sauce to you?
Does it? - Uh-oh.
- Mmm, wait. It gets worse.
- Sir, they're all red. I can't really...
- Why don't you taste it, then, and you tell me?
- Our boy just got starched at the Bell.
- Hard. Wait for it.
[thudding, yelling]
- Oh, no!
Where'd you get this? - Drunk Detroit.
It's hilarious when you don't know the person.
- So did he want mild or not want mild?
- It's unclear, but then the cops tase him
and he pulls out the Taser cords like some kind of beast.
- You serious? - Yeah,
and then they choke him out and arrest him.
- For a damn chalupa? - Mm-hmm.
Guess that's why he never made the drop.
- Who are you guys talking about?
- This dumbass has our money. - Again.
- I gotta pee.
[knocking]
- Mom, Danny won't let me play with him.
- You're too little. - No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are. You're no fun!
- You're supposed to let me play.
- I don't wanna play with you.
both: Mom!
.
- ♪ And that day keeps me awake ♪
♪ Wondering what to say
♪
♪ Every time I look in those eyes... ♪
- It's even better with water. - Oh.
[chuckles]
Sorry, I was, um... I was just doing research.
- Brand specs are in the binders.
- No, here... come here. Hop in, hop in.
Come on, I'll show you. Come on.
Here.
Hand.
All right.
- [laughs] This is a first.
- Okay, ready? Close your eyes.
- We have a staff meeting. - I know, I know, I know.
Trust me. Close your eyes.
Okay.
What do you see?
- People staring. - No, on the inside.
Imagine water.
What... what does that... what does that make you feel?
- Silly. - Okay.
You're in your backyard.
And it's night. - [sighs]
And there's...
a gentle breeze, there's fireflies,
and you got your favorite drink.
- Negroni. - Perfect.
Now what do you feel?
- Mm, possibility.
- Ooh, that's good.
Possibility's good.
People don't care how things work for the most part,
so I just try to sell feelings.
- That's really smart.
- It's a old trick from the dealership days.
- Will you have dinner with me?
- What?
- You, me, wine, food, wherever you wanna go.
- To talk strategy or some bus-dev or...
- Whatever you need to tell your wife.
Let me know. I'm open.
- Well no wonder people escape.
Look at this.
Right through the metal detector.
- Hey! - Huh?
But they take my Flamin' Cheetos?
[scoffs] - Why do you even have that?
- What if I have to bust out of a trunk?
- Meanwhile I get cavity searched.
- Which, by the way, methinks she was
a little too into it. - She was a lot into it.
- I'm gonna do all the talking, okay?
- Why?
- Because I hired him. - She hired him.
- Speaking of which, what is the, uh,
hierarchy of our new business venture?
- What are you talking about?
- Titles. - What?
- Do we have a marketing strategist?
Who's head of HR? Who's, say, president?
- I don't know. We all share.
- Do we?
- Aren't we all equal?
- Are we? [door opens]
[door closes]
[handcuffs clicking]
- Thank you so much.
So good to see you.
Please, have a seat.
- They said my lawyers were here.
- Well, we couldn't say we're friends.
- That hurts.
- So, where's our, uh, product?
- Depends. - On what?
- How quick you can get me out of here.
- Okay, hold on.
- Yeah, we didn't throw down over a gordita.
- That's on you. - Chalupa.
- Okay, well the cops can find it,
and then I'll just tell them it's yours.
- Sit... sit down.
Where is it?
- In my van. - Where is your van?
- Wherever vans go when you get bagged.
- Do not look at me!
Nuh-uh. This is not coming my way.
Not this time.
Fine, you can keep looking. It's not gonna happen.
Ran into Sunny today.
- Mike's wife?
- Yeah, she came in for acrylics.
- Mm.
What's the occasion? - You, boo.
[both chuckling]
- Cheers.
- Yeah, she says, uh, Mike misses you at the station.
- She did?
- He thinks about you a lot.
- She said that?
- Yeah, maybe you should, uh, give him a call.
You know, catch up.
- Please, I see him at softball.
He barely says a word to me.
- All right.
I need a van from the impound.
- [exhales sharply]
[laughs] What's in the van?
What's in the van, Ruby?
- Egg roll?
- You didn't even run into Sunny, did you?
- Egg roll.
[upbeat music]
♪
- ♪ Bizarre
♪
♪ She's so bizarre
♪
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
[keys jangling]
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
[keys clatter]
[dog barks]
♪
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
[hairdryer whirring]
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
♪ Bizarre, bizarre
♪
- What's this? - Oh, Jesus!
- Are you trying to get pregnant?
- It's not the worst thing.
- [scoffs]
It's a discussion, at least.
- Well, let's have it.
- Okay. - Okay.
- We have a billion kids, Beth.
- We have four. - It's completely insane.
- Why? Because I want it?
- Because we can't afford the ones we have.
- Well, it looks like you already made up your mind.
- And what about you using me in some sort of midlife crisis?
- Wow, really nice. - Or whatever the hell this is.
- At least I'm having sex with you
and not someone at work. - Oh, here we go.
- Or maybe I should just learn from the best.
- That's what it is, isn't it?
- What are you talking about?
- The crazy, the toys,
the acrobatics, the outfits.
- That's sex, Dean.
- Am I just... a sperm bank?
- Did you dye your hair?
- [scoffs]
You know wh... what really sucks?
For like a second there...
we felt like us again.
- I'm sorry. I sh...
- I don't want another kid.
.
- Okay, there you go. - Okay.
[indistinct children shouting]
- You like oranges? Okay.
Why don't you take two?
- I don't know what you know.
But I know you know enough to hate my guts, so...
- Hey, way to hustle, Hanna.
- I know it sounds stupid,
but I was just trying to make it right.
- Does it come without seeds? - Um, try this one.
- Or at least make it better for you guys.
I thought that... - Seed!
- Eat it, Hayden.
It was selfish and creepy and messed up,
and I would take it all back if I could and...
- Janet, can you bring me some more wipes?
- Sure.
- I need your help.
I'm not pregnant.
- Can we have a play date? - Please?
- No. - No, you have piano.
He will kill me when he finds out.
Thanks for the loan.
[distant dance music playing]
- Do we have to invite Uncle Jack?
He just gets so wasted.
Fine, but then he can't sit by any of the nieces.
No, that's not me, Mom. That's the court.
♪
No, I gotta dip. They need me in surgery.
Yeah, subdural hematoma.
I gotta scrub in stat for the craniotomy.
Love you. Bye.
♪
- So, how's your mom?
- Crazier than ever.
♪
- So what's the deal?
She thinks you're some kind of brain doctor?
[microwave beeping]
- Surgical assistant.
- Must be hard keeping that up. - What do you mean?
[microwave beeps]
- Living with all those lies.
- She wouldn't take my money
if she knew where it really came from.
This way, I can take care of her.
- Oh. - Hmm?
- All right.
- I'm like her hero.
- [chuckles]
Yeah.
Give you something to celebrate in the champagne room.
- [laughs] Right?
Half my time in there goes to her blackjack problem.
Crazy.
[muffled music continues]
- [exhales sharply]
[line ringing]
Hey, Mi... [laughs]
Yeah, yeah. What's up, buddy?
Mm-hmm. No, no, I just, um,
uh, really been thinking about you, man.
Well, kinda need a favor, actually.
- How much was bail? - A lot.
- What's a lot?
- Everything we made.
- For throwing down over some hot sauce?
- It's not his first rodeo.
Apparently the judge called him a flight risk.
- This idiot's so not worth it. - He's all we have.
- Yo, where's my rig? - You don't see it?
- [softly] Yeah...
- We weren't embarrassed at all driving it.
- So we back in business?
- Soon as we fire up the presses.
- We're gonna need a little break.
- Why? - Yeah, why?
- It's really not a good time.
- Uh, we just spent everything we had on that little bail out.
- Well, I'm getting a lot of heat at work, okay?
- From who? - From the owner.
- Dorothy? - Can I go now?
- We'll call you.
- You're worried about
an 80-year-old with cataracts.
- I mean, if she's asking questions...
- She asked me what grade I was in,
but sure. Bitch's bringing the heat.
- Keys?
- Oh, sorry.
- [scoffs]
- We'll get up and running, okay?
- Yeah, today. Hey.
Don't go anywhere.
- You can go. - Do not go.
You just can't help yourself.
- What's your problem?
- What it always is.
- I am dealing with so much right now.
I just need you to... - You're dealing.
You need. - Oh, my God.
- Because you're the president.
- I am not the president!
- Oh, I'm sorry.
CEO, Admiral, Captain my Captain.
Whatever you want me to call it.
- I'm dead.
- That's not a title.
- He's alive.
- What?
- How?
- He just is.
.
- I'm just saying... - Don't.
- Even if you gave
a sharpshooter three bullets... - Do not.
- With specific instructions not to hit any vital organs,
it would be physically impossible.
- How are you helping?
- This is how I process. - Can I have another?
- So you have a nine month solution
to a permanent problem.
- Three months. Maybe four.
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm gonna drink this
and then I'm gonna have another.
- Sorry I called you a president.
- [sighs] You didn't know.
- You should have told us.
- I was afraid he'd come after you guys.
- Beth, let's go to the cops.
- Then we're all in jail
and I still get shivved in the yard.
- Well...
It's actually much more common to get shanked.
- What's the difference?
- A shank's got a sharp edge, you know?
Like a scrap of metal from the license plate shop
or the top of a can of baked beans,
whereas a shiv is more like when you melt down
a toothbrush or a bunch of Jolly Rangers
to a fine point.
You know, it takes fire.
It's just... it's a lot more work.
[soft music]
- Can we Postmates some French fries?
♪
- We can do anything you want.
♪
- The thing is nobody should have nine bowls
of Oops! All Berries.
I mean, really, you shouldn't even have one.
And... and I would have watched
TV until my face melted off if she had let me,
so I have no business holding that remote.
- This is not your session.
- Oh. Hi.
- Can I go to the bathroom?
- [sighs] Yeah.
Yeah, sure. It's just down the hall,
to the left.
- Sorry.
- Fiona walked in on her parents making love last night.
- Eww. - Right?
- No, you.
Who says "making love"?
- Question, what is Oops! All Berries?
- Well, it's not berries, and it's definitely on purpose.
I would thank Cap'n Crunch, but he's the genius
who discontinued his own masterpiece.
- So your sister was trying to protect you?
- She still is.
- Is that so bad?
- Who's gonna protect her?
- Hmm.
You know what they call this in the biz?
A breakthrough.
- Eww.
- How is that gross?
- It's how you said it. [chuckles]
- It's a good thing.
- What am I supposed to do with it?
- Well, now you know where she's coming from.
Changes the whole dynamic.
- So am I, like, cured?
- Mm, not till that deadbeat ex of yours pays me.
- [chuckles]
Oh. [chuckles]
[mellow instrumentals]
♪
[keys jangling] - Hey now.
- How you feeling, Mama?
- Nauseous.
- Let's go for a drive.
Get some air.
- I should get these inside.
There's ice cream.
- Get in the car, Elizabeth.
♪
[upbeat music playing quietly]
♪
[inaudible]
♪
- Hey. You got a sec?
- I was just on with corporate telling them about my new star.
- Great. Um...
- Are you o... you okay?
You can't quit. - Yeah, it's just, uh...
Dinner.
- What'd you decide? - I really want to.
- Great. - But I can't.
[stammers]
I mean, I... I could. - Which is it, Dean?
- Well, back at the dealership, I had lots of dinners.
Couple times a week, even. All different kinds of cuisine.
'Cause I was a foodie.
I mean, there was no dinner that I didn't like,
and now I'm really, really trying
to eat more at home.
I just think it's healthier, you know?
For my marriage.
- I get it. - You do?
- Totally.
- I mean, it's not that I'm not hungry.
- We're good.
- I love working here.
- We really love having you, Dean.
- Well...
Thank you for understanding.
[keyboard clacking]
Oh, uh, that contractor you connected me with,
I got him on the hook for eight aqua jets
for his condo development.
- You know what?
Why don't you have Tony close that one?
- But I've already done the heavy lifting.
- I'm gonna need you in barbecue accessories.
- Putting me on tongs? - Is that a problem?
[distant upbeat music playing]
- No.
I'll just go fill Tony in.
[somber music]
♪
- Your first?
[phones ringing]
- No, no. [laughs]
- When are you due?
- You know, that's a good question.
Honey?
I guess that's why we're here, then, huh?
[both laughing]
- How crazy to think there's a tiny human in there.
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it almost doesn't feel real.
- [chuckles]
- I'm gonna use the bathroom.
- No, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill.
They're gonna need it.
[chuckles]
[tense music]
.
- When was the positive test?
- A couple of weeks ago.
- Date of your last period?
- I d... I don't know.
- Any idea when you conceived?
- Come on, darling. You remember?
- I hit it in the bedroom when your husband was at work.
- I put it on the form.
- Oh, there it is. Okay.
Well, it's, uh, probably too soon to see a heartbeat,
so for today we'll just take some blood to confirm.
- How long does that take? - About a day or two.
- Thank you so much.
- In the meantime,
watch the alcohol, no sushi,
no deli meat just to be safe. - Got it.
- Okay, see you in a few weeks.
- Hey, Doc. - Yes?
- It couldn't hurt to try, right?
- Well, it depends on how far along.
- Let's fire it up.
- I mean, what's the point if we can't see anything, right?
- Lay back. - Come on.
- Got a super excited daddy here.
- That's right.
[both chuckling] [machine beeps]
- Okay.
Just relax.
You all right? How's Marcus doing?
- Oh, bad as ever.
Yeah, he keeps me on my toes, though.
[both laughing]
- Huh. - What's that?
- Congratulations.
Strong implantation. Healthy sac.
Lining's nice and thick. - I don't see anything.
- Well, you go to eight years of med school,
then take a look. [laughs]
Anything else?
- Paternity test.
- Oh, you can do that in about a month.
[door opens]
[door closes]
- Thank you so much.
- Thank your friend.
[dramatic music]
♪
- Everything okay?
- Big day. - Yeah?
What happened? - With what?
- You know, egg roll. - Oh.
Can we switch to calamari or something?
I'm sick of thinking about... - There you go.
No more safe words. - Yay.
- So apparently your son
dropped the F-bomb at school today.
- What? - Mm-hmm.
And Ms. Rodner also said that he was going around
the playground asking other kids
if they would like to see his coccyx.
- You know, that mickey fickey told me my epidermis
was showing last week. - [laughs]
He said that? [laughs]
- Yeah, I spent an hour in the mirror
checking for my underwear.
- Boy, I tell you, even if it ain't dirty,
that boy'll make it dirty.
- Hey, will you stop?
- Rodner also said that we should make a swear jar.
You know, have him put, like, a quarter or something in there
and do something good with the money.
- Oh, we can open a church with that potty mouth.
- [laughs]
How much you got on you?
- Like, 40 bucks. - Okay.
Put half in there.
- I didn't say coccyx. - For the van.
- Right now? - Yes,
or for any other time
that you're gonna have to say egg roll.
[groans]
[exhales sharply]
- We're not bad people, Stan.
- No, baby, we're good people who do bad things.
- How long have you been at it? - Two hours.
- Liar.
- Three.
Fine, four. - [scoffs]
Dude, you're done.
- I have a social studies test.
- You always do this.
You study way too much
and then you burn yourself out
and you choke. - Harsh.
- Come on. Take a break.
Come on. Let's go.
- [exhales sharply]
- Okay.
- What's mexyldreselthate?
- Brain food.
Okay, here you go.
Eh? Take a bite.
- [scoffs]
- Mmm.
- It's stale. - Mmm.
Needs some more milk.
It'll soften it up a little.
Mm-hmm, so what you wanna do is you just keep replenishing
until the milk's gone, okay?
And then the sugar rush keeps you jacked up enough
to get through the six-hour cartoon marathon.
- How did you survive childhood?
- Auntie Beth.
Mmm.
- My tongue tastes...
Blue? - [laughs]
Just go with it. - [chuckling]
I really have to study.
- Someday you'll thank me.
[TV whistling] - Hello, there!
- Okay, one, two, three. Lift off!
- Push me to the moon!
- Mommy'll be right back.
- Oh, come on, baby. Let's go.
Come on. - Hey, hey, hold up!
- My shoe!
- Hey, will you just... hang on!
- What?
- I just wanna know why.
- You're a mom.
But he's not dumb.
[Mott the Hoople's "Through the Looking Glass"]
Let's go.
♪
- ♪ I'm feeling ugly
- Hey, where are the kids?
- Upstairs.
♪
- What's going on?
- I tried telling him to leave.
♪
- ♪ And did I mean it
- What? Who?
♪
- Says his boss needs him to keep an eye on you.
♪
Who's his boss, Beth?
♪
- There's something I have to tell you.
.
♪ I'd like so much to
♪ Oh I'll never look at you again ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm really not that vain ♪
♪
♪ Seven years bad luck ain't that long ♪
♪ Before I smash you, hear my song ♪